I'm still struggling constantly with trusting that the finances to pay for this adoption are going to be there when we need them. It has been a daily battle between me and God. I pour out how afraid and confused I am, He finds ways to reassure me that He is there. I believe one of the biggest and most frequent ways God can speak into our life is through the wisdom of those you respect and trust.
Yesterday I saw a quote from Pastor Robert Morris from Gateway Church is Southlake that said this, "The Miracle of the five loaves and two fishes did not happen in the Master's hands. It happened in the disciples's hands...when they obeyed the Master."
Then I also saw this tweet from John Piper the same morning: "Do you have only a five-loaves-and-two-fish measure of strength for 5,000 demands? Bring it to Jesus. Matthew 14:18"
I always feel like when I see something like this repeated, it is God trying to get my attention. I really feel like there are some amazing parallels to our adoption finances.
First, the food crisis Jesus addressed didn't occur until late in the day. He had been teaching all day when people started getting hungry and needing to really find some food. We are also in the final stages in our adoption. Our paperwork could be approved any day in Beijing and then we start working on travel. So far, we have had every dollar we have needed up to this point.
Then the disciples figured it was quitting time because there just simply wasn't enough. When they find someone with some food, they know that won't be enough. A boy with a small basket of food couldn't begin to feed the thousands with hungry bellies. I know that feeling. I keep running the numbers of how much we still need and I'm overwhelmed by how far we have to go. I keep looking for earthly solutions to a God-sized problem.
But Jesus sees our "not enough" and He tells us to bring it to Him. He first stops looks to Heaven and thanks God for the food in the basket. That's why I believe He is calling me to. He wants to me to keep my eyes on Him and be thankful for what I have, not what I still need.
And then a miracle happens. They start passing out this small amount and thousands are fed. That must have been unbelievable to watch as the baskets kept going through the crowd and every time someone reached in, there was enough. Not just enough to keep them from starving but the Bible says they were satisfied. They were full.
But that wasn't the end of the story. There were 12 baskets left; one for each of the disciples. He doesn't just give us enough but He gives some to take with us.
This is my prayer. That I would take everything we have and have been given to Him, keep my eyes on Heaven and know that when we need to reach in the basket, it will be there.
photo from Bruno Raymond (text added)