The Dangerous Song

We sang a song this Sunday at church that could change a person's life, but only if they mean it.

Whatever You want
Whatever You ask
Our lives are Yours
We gladly lay them in Your hands

I stopped a second during the chorus thinking about the weight of these words because they are very dangerous. I prayed them over 2 years ago and God has called me to things I never dreamed possible. I wouldn't take back a moment of it but if you desire things like "comfort", "normal", "predictable", then this isn't the prayer for you. But it comes with the package of making Him Lord of your life. 

In the last 2 years, I've visited Chinese orphanages, adopted a 7 year old and been deployed to the Middle East for 6 months. I've climbed the Great Wall twice, watched people be baptized under the Arabian sky, eaten at Subway in Kuwait, sushi in Tokyo and completed a half marathon in the middle of the night. 

It has been an exhausting season and the ambitious person inside me is ready to slay more dragons. Sometimes though, when you pray the dangerous prayer and sing the dangerous song, He says something very different. Right now, the Voice of Heaven has been saying, "Rest and wait."

In some ways this is the hardest thing He could ask of me because it doesn't feel right and I don't know how long it will last. I could see the size of the 'adoption mountain' or the length of the 'deployment desert' but I don't know how long this rest in the valley will be. My husband and I even went to a membership class at church and when we went to check the box to say we were joining the church, neither of us could do it. We want to adopt again but don't feel this is the right time. 

The other night we were invited over to have dinner with a family about to adopt a boy from Korea who wanted to hear about our experience bringing Liam home. We had a beautiful night sharing our joys and struggles and hearing their beautiful hearts. That night I asked God for other chances to share the beauty of adoption and I heard Him whisper, "Be faithful with the audience I've already given you." To me, this means for now, I will keep blogging and sharing on social media and trust Him with the rest.

And for our family's next steps, we will keep praying and singing. We will savor every moment of just being whole as a family again. We will celebrate all that He is brought us through. We will breathe in the peace of this moment.

My biggest regret

Each day gets us a little closer and today our Article 5 was picked up and now we wait for Travel Approval! We are praying it comes in the next few days and we can begin buying airfare and planning our trip.

I have the app "TimeHop" on my phone and I can look back over what I posted on social media over the last 5-6 years every day in a snapshot.  I keep seeing posts I made 5 years ago about all the changes that were going on in our life as I was pregnant with our youngest and moving from Missouri to Texas. As I watch each day of that journey come up on the app, I keep seeing the same thing over and over. I was constantly worried about things that never happened. I was worried we wouldn't sell our house and we did. I was worried our youngest at the time wouldn't do well with the move and she did.

The same is true over the last year of my life and I'm determined to stop.

I've been worried about so many things so far that haven't happened on this journey. I was worried we wouldn't be able to be matched with Liam and we were.  The paperwork seemed too big to overcome but we did it. I fretted that we would never be approved and of course we were. I spent days in agony afraid we wouldn't have the money and it looks like we have it thanks to all those who gave and God's grace.  I regret spending so much time worrying about all of these things that never were an issue.

So here we are waiting to travel and bring our son home. There are a million questions in my mind like about what is about to happen like:

How will we communicate with him?
Will he like our food?
Will he love us or even like us?
Will he be overcome with grief leaving everything he knows?
What is his medical diagnosis going to look like?

I'm determined to not let those worries and questions overwhelm me as we move forward. It may be hard. It may not look how we expect. But God has had this whole process in His hand from the beginning and I believe He did not bring us or Liam this far to leave us now.

I believe Psalm 27 has been the song of this adoption. Take a minute. Quiet your heart. Trust in Him.

You, LORD, are the light

that keeps me safe.

I am not afraid of anyone.

You protect me,

and I have no fears.

²Brutal people may attack

and try to kill me,

but they will stumble.

Fierce enemies may attack,

but they will fall.

³Armies may surround me,

but I won't be afraid;

war may break out,

but I will trust you.

⁴I ask only one thing, LORD:

Let me live in your house

every day of my life

to see how wonderful you are

and to pray in your temple.

⁵In times of trouble,

you will protect me.

You will hide me in your tent

and keep me safe

on top of a mighty rock.

⁶You will let me defeat

all of my enemies.

Then I will celebrate,

as I enter your tent

with animal sacrifices

and songs of praise.

⁷Please listen when I pray!

Have pity. Answer my prayer.

⁸My heart tells me to pray.

I am eager to see your face,

⁹so don't hide from me.

I am your servant,

and you have helped me.

Don't turn from me in anger.

You alone keep me safe.

Don't reject or desert me.

¹⁰Even if my father and mother

should desert me,

you will take care of me.

¹¹Teach me to follow, LORD,

and lead me on the right path

because of my enemies.

¹²Don't let them do to me

what they want.

People tell lies about me

and make terrible threats,

¹³but I know I will live

to see how kind you are.

¹⁴Trust the LORD!

Be brave and strong

and trust the LORD.

Loaves and Fishes

I'm still struggling constantly with trusting that the finances to pay for this adoption are going to be there when we need them.  It has been a daily battle between me and God. I pour out how afraid and confused I am, He finds ways to reassure me that He is there. I believe one of the biggest and most frequent ways God can speak into our life is through the wisdom of those you respect and trust.  

Yesterday I saw a quote from Pastor Robert Morris from Gateway Church is Southlake that said this, "The Miracle of the five loaves and two fishes did not happen in the Master's hands. It happened in the disciples's hands...when they obeyed the Master."

Then I also saw this tweet from John Piper the same morning: "Do you have only a five-loaves-and-two-fish measure of strength for 5,000 demands? Bring it to Jesus. Matthew 14:18"

I always feel like when I see something like this repeated, it is God trying to get my attention. I really feel like there are some amazing parallels to our adoption finances.

First, the food crisis Jesus addressed didn't occur until late in the day. He had been teaching all day when people started getting hungry and needing to really find some food. We are also in the final stages in our adoption. Our paperwork could be approved any day in Beijing and then we start working on travel. So far, we have had every dollar we have needed up to this point.

Then the disciples figured it was quitting time because there just simply wasn't enough. When they find someone with some food, they know that won't be enough.  A boy with a small basket of food couldn't begin to feed the thousands with hungry bellies. I know that feeling.  I keep running the numbers of how much we still need and I'm overwhelmed by how far we have to go. I keep looking for earthly solutions to a God-sized problem.

But Jesus sees our "not enough" and He tells us to bring it to Him. He first stops looks to Heaven and thanks God for the food in the basket.  That's why I believe He is calling me to. He wants to me to keep my eyes on Him and be thankful for what I have, not what I still need.  

And then a miracle happens.  They start passing out this small amount and thousands are fed. That must have been unbelievable to watch as the baskets kept going through the crowd and every time someone reached in, there was enough.  Not just enough to keep them from starving but the Bible says they were satisfied. They were full. 

But that wasn't the end of the story.  There were 12 baskets left; one for each of the disciples. He doesn't just give us enough but He gives some to take with us.

This is my prayer.  That I would take everything we have and have been given to Him, keep my eyes on Heaven and know that when we need to reach in the basket, it will be there. 

photo from Bruno Raymond (text added)

Surviving to Savoring

Last year I felt like I was constantly hearing the same concept over and over and over:
"From Surviving to Thriving"

It was the theme of Women of Faith, a song from Casting Crowns (and I attended a concert) and I just kept hearing it everywhere. The part that drove me crazy was that it seemed so out of reach. Most days I felt lucky just to survive. I felt like "thriving" was a million miles away.

Why did I feel like that?  Because I let all the voices shouting at me tell me that I had to do everything. Here's a short list of what I felt like I needed to do every day.

-get up early before the kids are up
-have an amazing intense quiet time with God
-make healthy meals for my kids
-bake indulgent treats for my family
-be a best friend to my husband
-have a hot romance with my husband
-know where every dollar I spend is going
-be fully engaged with what is going on at all 3 of my kids' schools
-make crafty items for my home
-have a perfectly decorated home
-have a perfectly clean home
-don't worry about having a clean home and spend time with my kids
-exercise
-be an amazing photographer and make all my clients thrilled
-get more clients every day
-don't forget my other part time job in Missouri
-connect with my family
-take time to hang out with my friends
-volunteer
-blog
-remember everyone's birthdays
-decorate the house for every holiday and season
and on and on and on and on.....

It overwhelms me and the truth is that I probably only do about 3 of them each day.  And maybe one well.

In hopes for a better year, I made my "one little word" for 2015 the word "savor."  Why savor? Because I really want to be fully present in every day.  Our lives are going to change so much this year bringing home Liam that I want to soak up every moment. I want to squeeze every last moment of every day.

But honestly, two months into the year, I haven't been savoring very well.  I've been overwhelmed, surviving, worried about the adoption, and feeling like a failure about that list up there.  I start every day with a 30 foot long to-do list that no human could ever accomplish in a day and by the end of the day, I reflect back with frustration of all that I didn't accomplish.

So I'm restarting my "savor" year. I read the book "Say Goodbye to Survival Mode" and really enjoyed the simple tips. One of my favorite parts is that there are things on that list up there that the author, Crystal Paine, just lets go.  Based on that, I'm going to let go of the impossible 30 foot list and just pick 5 things to put on my to-do list every day.  I make the list before bed, read, journal and relax. If I get more done the next day, great.  If not, its really going to be okay.

Here's an example of something I'm deciding to letting go of.  I am throwing a party tonight for some friends. I pinned a couple of cupcake recipes on Pinterest planning on spending a whole night baking in preparation for the party. Add that to everything else that needs to be done (cleaning my home, making decorations, etc) and I know that I will get overwhelmed. So instead, I picked up 2 cakes at Costco. People will love them just as much and I won't turn into a crazy person.  I'm going to savor my party and time with my friends and not over-extend myself.

I do finally feel like I'm moving the ball down the field from surviving to thriving.
I hope things are going well with whatever word you picked for this year and you take some time to savor it all.

My Attachment Issues

My cousin posted this article from Jen Hatmaker on my Facebook page recently. I had to stop and think if this was to warn me or to encourage me. She said it was for "preparation" and I actually read the whole thing aloud to Jeff.

I was praying about it the next morning asking God if Liam could go through these stages quickly, especially the "Spaz Out".  I prayed that he would know that we love him and even though he wouldn't understand every word we said. I prayed that there would be a bond and he would feel like part of our family. I prayed that he would trust us and understand we treasure him even as we have to teach him the rules and enforce loving discipline.

Instantly, I heard God ask, "Which stage are you in?"

"What?" I asked

"I adopted you and brought you not only into my family but into my kingdom. Do you feel like you are a part of it? Do you know that when I'm disciplining you, it is because I love you and for your good?  Do you trust me as your Father and know I have your best interests at heart just as you will for Liam?"

Well, that was intense. After 36 years, if I'm to really be honest with you, I'm still in "Spaz Out".  I throw inward pity-parties and fits when God doesn't answer my prayers on my time table. I still put on a pretty face at church and act like its all okay when it really isn't. I don't communicate with Him as often as I should because I don't feel like I even understand the language He is speaking.

And like an adoptive father, He keeps pursuing me with love. He keeps using "pull-close" parenting methods and inviting me to just sit with Him and let Him hold me when things don't make sense. He gives me "time-ins" instead of "time-outs" so I can take a breath for a minute and figure out where I went wrong.

I think I'm ready to move on to the next stage. I want to trust His love and be fully ingrafted into His family. I think a lot of it is a choice though. Just as it will be for Liam. He is going to have to choose that even though we are strangers, we love him like he is our biological son. I shouldn't ask Liam to do anything I'm not willing to do. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Retracing my Steps

Photo by Jeff Stevenson

Bob Goff had a wonderful quote this morning on Twitter that really sums up where I have been for the last few weeks: "Sometimes God lets us lose hope for a moment, so we'll retrace our steps and find Him all over again."

There are days lately when I have lost hope. The financial part of this just seemed too big. I even started thinking that maybe this was just all an idea in my own head, not God's plan. Because logically, I selfishly wanted to spend all my money chasing a kid on the other side of the planet who doesn't speak English. Thinking about it now seems really absurd. But when you are wandering and waiting, your flesh makes you doubt what you know in your soul is true. He ordained this and He is in charge and even when the numbers don't make sense, He is sovereign.

The problem is that in Dave Ramsey language, I'm the Free Spirit turned Nerd. I'm the one that handles our family's budget and bills. My husband handles our small business finances. It works great until I add up how much we have left to pay on the adoption and have a panic attack.

Here are the numbers:
We have already paid $17,519.54. This is the first time I have added that up. Wow, where did that come from God? Some of that came from people just handing us a check, our garage sales, things I have made and sold on Facebook. $2000 of it came from the online gifts people have given to AdoptTogether. A lot of it came from our budget. We didn't go on vacation this year, we used any extra money we could find, etc. That still blows my mind though because we normally don't have thousands left over at the end of the month. I can't really explain that number.

I'm estimating we still have $23,420 to go in the next few months. Why? Because:

REFERRAL & TRAVEL

3rd Installment of Program Fee                                                         $2,000

Referral Translation Fee ($475 for waiting child)                              $250

International Program Fee (1 child) •••                                             $7,300

Post Adoption Administrative Fee                                                     $900

Post Adoption Visits                                                                           $1200

China Orphan Care Fee
(This fee will be used to provide on-going support and care for orphans in China through direct projects AWAA will be involved in through our Waiting Children Program and orphanage partnerships.)                                                                                        $600

Airfare (2 adults; prices will vary by season and location)              $3300

Airfare
(1 child; prices will vary by season, location and ticket)                  $1000

Visas (2 adults)                                                                                   $390

Visa Filing & Processing Fee for Adopted Child (per child)             $480

In-Country Travel Package (2 adults) ••••                                         $6000

Travel for 2 adults and a child in China for around 17 days is expensive. We aren't just going on a vacation to Beijing, we are flying to Liam's province and then to Guangzhou where the US Embassy is and then back with another person. We have a guide/translator for our group and meals and some activities to keep a 7 year old busy.  

That $7,300 International Program Fee is very important. It includes the $5,500 we pay to Liam's orphanage for taking care of him all these years and his medical exams, passport, notary, visa, etc.

So, we have $3000 on hand right now and almost $8000 left to request from AdoptTogether. So that $24,420 number is actually down to $12,420. We are praying that we get some kind of tax refund and we have a 3rd paycheck month coming up. We have some clients that owe us for photography work that is coming up soon and we are praying we get a couple of grants. We are hoping the golf tournament fills in the rest. We hope we get more donations on AdoptTogether.

Ultimately though, it is in God's hands. We honestly were planning on waiting to adopt until we had the bulk of the money first. But God has been faithful so far and we are believing that He will provide. We don't have enough words of gratitude for those who have given so far. You have been our answered prayer. 

What's down in the valley

Adoption is a journey and every journey is filled with highs and lows. These last few months have been fairly low. We are at that point where you know you have so far to go, we aren't sure if we have the resources to make it and there's so much unknown around every corner.

But we press ahead trusting that Someone is going before us and there is so much more blessing ahead than pitfalls behind.  The mountain tops are beautiful but there is something amazing down in the valley if you really look.

You will find streams of refreshment fed by the presence of the Lord. You can rest in the shadows of His holy mountain.  That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither-- whatever they do prospers. Psalm 1:3

You find community.  People also going on the same journey, those who have gone before you or those who just want to cheer you on your way are there in the valley.  And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25

You find rest. There is so much coming as we scale those mountains that we are trying to remember to stop and rest before the bigger challenges come. It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones. Psalm 127:2

I was plagued by doubt this weekend. We have had some news that really made me wonder if I really heard from God when we started this.  But faithfully, God has listened.  He has told me some things I didn't really want to hear. That's usually how I know its Him.  He has reminded me why we started this journey and that He alone knows the path it will take. He has sent people to give us a word in due season or just to pray with us. 

I'm frustrated 
I'm confused
I feel in chaos

But He's there in the valley with me.

Photo Source

No Turning Back

I was reading my daily devotional from "Heart of the Matter" and the verse of the day was from 1 Kings 19.  I was supposed to read the first 9 verses about God comforting Elijah in the wilderness but I kept reading. The last 3 verses of the chapter were about Elijah calling Elisha to be his assistant and they blew me away:

19 Elijah left and found Elisha plowing a field with a pair of oxen. There were eleven other men in front of him, and each one was also plowing with a pair of oxen. Elijah went over and put his own coat on Elisha.[f]

20 Elisha stopped plowing and ran after him. “Let me kiss my parents good-by, then I’ll go with you,” he said.

“You can go,” Elijah said. “But remember what I’ve done for you.”

21 Elisha left and took his oxen with him. He killed them and boiled them over a fire he had made with the wood from his plow. He gave the meat to the people who were with him, and they ate it. Then he left with Elijah and became his assistant.

1 Kings 19: 19-21 CEV

That last verse just hits you.  Can you imagine spending your life working in the fields, going out to plow one day and by that night you are boiling your oxen on top of your plow? That's commitment.  That's saying, "Hey guys, come on over for a BBQ! What am I cooking? Just my livelihood. But I'm going with this guy!" 

Yesterday felt like that to me a little.  I didn't kill any livestock but I thought about the picture I posted to Facebook of my girls blowing out their future brother's birthday candle.  I have told these girls that this adoption is happening and they believe it. There were moments contemplating celebrating Liam's birthday where I thought, 'What if he never comes home to us? What if I'm filling my girls' with ideas that they are going to get a brother and it never happens? What if I guide them to loving a child on the other side of the world and they never see his face. What if all these people give us money and we never go to China and get him?'

It happens.  Adoption is dangerous.  Countries shut down the process at the drop of a diplomatic hat. Ask families that were in process in West African nations when Ebola broke out.
Ask families that were in process in Ukraine or Russia when those nations' adoption policies changed.
It has happened in places due to natural disasters, coups, or just strained relations with the United States.

Instead of lighting my oxen on fire over my plow, I light a birthday candle and sang for a child I may never hold again. I choose to believe that no matter what happens, if God shuts a door, it is His door to shut. I choose to live a life that doesn't put emotional, financial or physical security over His calling.

I want to be like Elisha and when God calls, I'm ready to answer and like any good Texan, I'll throw some BBQ for my friends while I'm at it. And yes, that's a buttermilk pecan pie we are eating in the picture instead of cake. I hope Liam likes pecan pie.

How I'm really Doing

People keep asking how the adoption is going.  Some days I want to make sure they want the answer I have in my mind.  Because honestly, some days aren't rainbows and sunshine.  Like last week when we found out that everything was ready to go to China except that on one letter, the notary forgot to put the date. So we had it done again.  That time, the person who completed the letter didn't sign it and the dates didn't match.  So it had to be done a third time.  It was out of our hands. We have never even seen this letter and these people are doing this to help us.  It was an accident.  But all of these little hold ups mean that our dossier won't be ready to be sent to China until at least January 9th when the Chinese government reopens.

So how am I doing? 

I'm aching to hold my son.  

I'm frustrated by an adoption system out of my control.

I'm concerned by the $15K we still need and the time that is running out.

I'm thankful to a God who is in control and a husband who holds me through it.

This week was the first time I let myself cry missing Liam.  I've tried to have a great attitude but some days I just miss his smile and I want to hold him again.

So if you ask me how the adoption is going, just be prepared that I'm going to be honest. 

I want others to adopt and I want to be transparent about the process.  But filling your heads with ideas that you just fill out a couple of forms and hop on a plane wouldn't be fair to anyone.  Adoption is work.  It is waiting longer than you want.  It is doing everything you can and then fixing it anyway. 

That is what God did for us. I'm sure that ride on a donkey for Mary or the walk to Calvary to redeem us was physically and emotionally horrific.  But God would do anything to reach us.  He sent his Word across the heavens to the lowliest places to adopt us as His children.

I pray that this is the last Christmas we spend without Liam.  I pray his heart is strong and he feels the love we have for him from across the Pacific.

We are coming sweet boy...I promise.  Merry Christmas.

Fix My Eyes

Every time I hear this song, I have so many thoughts about adoption.  So I'm going to break it down for you

LOVE LIKE YOU'RE NOT SCARED
I'm scared. I'm scared the adoption won't got through. I'm scared it will take longer than I hope. I'm scared that Liam won't love us or won't attach to our family. Add about 5,325 other things to that list and I'm scared. But from the beginning, God told me to do this afraid if I have to but do it anyway because His perfect love will cast out all these fears. So I'm doing this with His love in spite of any fear.

GIVE WHEN IT'S NOT FAIR
I feel like so many people are doing this right now. They are giving money, we are giving money and it doesn't seem fair that adoption is so expensive. I wish I didn't have to ask anyone to give. I wish we had the funds to pay for this and not ask for a dime.

LIVE LIFE FOR ANOTHER
Our life is partially on hold right now. I pray that I'm still spending enough time with my kids but we could have been going to movies instead of meeting with social workers.  The crazy part is that Liam has no idea. Sometimes when God calls you to live for another, that other person doesn't even know or appreciate what is happening.

TAKE TIME FOR A BROTHER
This line always makes me smile.  I know they mean "brother" in the way of everyone being your "brother" but this gets personal.  I lost my brother in 2003 and I can't wait for my girls to know what life is like to have a brother. It is worth every moment we wait.

FIGHT FOR THE WEAK ONES
We all have to remember those who can't fight for themselves. We have to be their voice and defend those in true need.  Liam's heart is weak and I'm going to do whatever I can to fight for him to have the longest, healthiest life he can have.

SPEAK OUT FOR FREEDOM
Those kids in orphanages around the world are not free. Many could be sold into human trafficking rings as they age out at 14 or 15 years old.  Even if they make it out safely, they will always be known as an orphan and in many cultures, it is a shameful stigma that follows them the rest of their lives.

FIND FAITH IN THE BATTLE
I couldn't do this without my husband, friends and family.  I'm so blessed to have a cousin who has adopted and I can pick her brain about what to expect.  Sometimes, you just need encouragement and yes, even a hug (I'm not usually a big hug fan).  Battles like adoption can be long and exhausting.  We need prayer just to keep going.

STAND TALL BUT ABOVE IT ALL...FIX MY EYES ON YOU
I have to remember who and why we are called to this. We are not worthy to even dream of being Liam's parents but for some reason so far we are being given this amazing chance. I have to fix my eyes on His plan for our lives and trust Him that the mountains of paperwork will pay off.



ADOPTION UPDATE: Everything is submitted to our agency and we are waiting for it to be certified and sent to China. We are currently planning a golf tournament for late February and submitting as many grant requests as possible. Thank you everyone who is praying and for every penny given!!!

Update #2: I emailed today and it is all still at the secretaries of state: please pray that it gets back to our agency soon to be sent to China!!!

Stumbling Blocks

blog and picture by Jeff Stevenson

A great philosopher once said, “Life is full of challenges.” While I can’t cite who said it, I can attest that he or she is absolutely right.

Another philosopher once said, “Everything happens for a reason.” I believe this is true, too.

If you were to put these quotes together, they may look something like this, “Life is full of challenges for a reason.” I think this is the more true statement of the three.

The other night my wife and I were returning home from a rare night out in Dallas. We were about 30 min from our home, driving down the interstate when all of the sudden I saw something flash up in my headlights and BOOM! BOOM!

Instantly, I felt the front passenger-side tire going flat and made my way to the shoulder. We called roadside assistance. I knew the tire was flat, but I wasn’t sure what else may have happened. He assured us that we are safe to drive home, but would need to take side roads when driving on the spare. The initial assessment of the damage was the rim was bent causing the flat tire.

Next day, I thought I could just drive the car to get a new rim. However, when I walked out to the garage the next morning, the rear tire on the passenger-side was flat, too. I took a look and that rim was bent just like the other. I don’t know how we had made it home except to chalk it up to a miracle. But this raised the level of the repair a bit.

Long story, short we got our insurance involved and ended up being in a rental for almost 2 weeks for various other complications with the repair.

This month has been full of these types of incidents. Our fence needed 2 new fence posts after a recent storm (actually 4, but I imposed some handiwork on the others), and just yesterday we had someone out to repair our refrigerator and were told that replacing it would be the better option.

“But we are adopting! Bad things aren’t allowed to happen to us!”

This is what I was tempted to think. The selfish part of me wanted to think that we should get some kind of reprieve from real life until the adoption is finished. But in reality, the opposite is true.

Here is another modified quote, “The more you give, the more you get…rained on.”

When we choose to do something good, we should not expect a medal in the way of an easy life. We should expect some stumbling blocks along the way. Doing a good thing is often not easy. And regular life doesn’t stop just because we are in the middle of something good.

However, humility should kick-in when things go wrong. If we are giving to get the reward, then we are giving for the wrong reason. We need to just give to give. If we give to get, we will be disappointed many times and the stumbling blocks will seem like unfair boulders.

Here is another reality. The stumbling blocks are often for a reason.

The rest of the story of our car is that when we got it back it drove a lot better. It had needed the tires rotated and an alignment. We received 2 new tires and an alignment. The car drives a lot better now than it did before the rims were bent.

We had been wanting to upgrade our washer in preparation for having 4 kids. The place where we bought our new refrigerator had the washer we wanted at a steep discount. We had both delivered the same day.

There are many theologies that try to explain why bad things happen. I won’t go into all of them except to finish how I began, “Life is full of challenges for a reason.”

I hold on to the belief that everything that happens in life is for a reason. I believe there is a greater plan and I’m just one part of it. Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes we get the rest of the story. Sometimes we don’t.

But the same plan that puts stumbling blocks in my path is the same plan that grows me as a person and always provides for my family. It’s the same plan that took Sarah to China to meet Liam.

Stressing about the stumbling blocks or feeling entitled to an explanation will get us nothing but frustration and bitterness. It will inevitably distract us from the good work we are meant to do.