Fix My Eyes

Every time I hear this song, I have so many thoughts about adoption.  So I'm going to break it down for you

LOVE LIKE YOU'RE NOT SCARED
I'm scared. I'm scared the adoption won't got through. I'm scared it will take longer than I hope. I'm scared that Liam won't love us or won't attach to our family. Add about 5,325 other things to that list and I'm scared. But from the beginning, God told me to do this afraid if I have to but do it anyway because His perfect love will cast out all these fears. So I'm doing this with His love in spite of any fear.

GIVE WHEN IT'S NOT FAIR
I feel like so many people are doing this right now. They are giving money, we are giving money and it doesn't seem fair that adoption is so expensive. I wish I didn't have to ask anyone to give. I wish we had the funds to pay for this and not ask for a dime.

LIVE LIFE FOR ANOTHER
Our life is partially on hold right now. I pray that I'm still spending enough time with my kids but we could have been going to movies instead of meeting with social workers.  The crazy part is that Liam has no idea. Sometimes when God calls you to live for another, that other person doesn't even know or appreciate what is happening.

TAKE TIME FOR A BROTHER
This line always makes me smile.  I know they mean "brother" in the way of everyone being your "brother" but this gets personal.  I lost my brother in 2003 and I can't wait for my girls to know what life is like to have a brother. It is worth every moment we wait.

FIGHT FOR THE WEAK ONES
We all have to remember those who can't fight for themselves. We have to be their voice and defend those in true need.  Liam's heart is weak and I'm going to do whatever I can to fight for him to have the longest, healthiest life he can have.

SPEAK OUT FOR FREEDOM
Those kids in orphanages around the world are not free. Many could be sold into human trafficking rings as they age out at 14 or 15 years old.  Even if they make it out safely, they will always be known as an orphan and in many cultures, it is a shameful stigma that follows them the rest of their lives.

FIND FAITH IN THE BATTLE
I couldn't do this without my husband, friends and family.  I'm so blessed to have a cousin who has adopted and I can pick her brain about what to expect.  Sometimes, you just need encouragement and yes, even a hug (I'm not usually a big hug fan).  Battles like adoption can be long and exhausting.  We need prayer just to keep going.

STAND TALL BUT ABOVE IT ALL...FIX MY EYES ON YOU
I have to remember who and why we are called to this. We are not worthy to even dream of being Liam's parents but for some reason so far we are being given this amazing chance. I have to fix my eyes on His plan for our lives and trust Him that the mountains of paperwork will pay off.



ADOPTION UPDATE: Everything is submitted to our agency and we are waiting for it to be certified and sent to China. We are currently planning a golf tournament for late February and submitting as many grant requests as possible. Thank you everyone who is praying and for every penny given!!!

Update #2: I emailed today and it is all still at the secretaries of state: please pray that it gets back to our agency soon to be sent to China!!!