Nothing is Wasted

We are a family of nerds and I'm okay with that. As a family, we are watching Star Trek: The Next Generation from beginning to end on Netflix. Most of our Saturday nights, after the kids go to bed, are spent watching Doctor Who.  I think we watched the new Star Wars trailer at least 5 times the day it came out.  And yes, we aren't just sci-fi fans, I'm the dork who took 5 math and science credits in high school instead of getting early release because Genetics and Statistics sounded fun.  I spent my weekends in college chasing storms or doing extra weather modules on laser discs.  My daughter is attending her first Comic Con this weekend and I see cosplay in her future.

All that to say, an episode of Star Trek TNG really caught our attention the other day.  Geordi ends up saving a planet where humans live in a biosphere trying to genetically engineer a perfect race.  He did it using the technology from his visor. He even tells the scientist from the planet he's working with that if it were up to them, he never would have been born because of his disability. He almost laughs at the irony that very disability is saving them. She has a revelation that they are actually behind in technology because there is no struggle with perfectly engineered people. Basically, if necessity is the mother of invention, their perfect race didn't need for much and didn't create much.

Sadly, our culture in the 21st century doesn't look that much different than these biosphere people. We have aborted 90% or more of those diagnosed with Down Syndrome in the womb.  Some parents select the perfect embryos and discard the rest even based on gender. But in the search for perfection, we miss the wondrous struggle.

Yesterday, I stepped foot in a new world.  It is a world of evaluations, forms, therapists and IEPs. It was a Special Education building. My youngest, like her father and to a small degree her older sister, has a condition called disfluency.  Basically, she stutters. It looks like she will be starting speech therapy when she starts kindergarten in the Fall.  And instead of sadness, I choose joy.  I look to the glory that God will reveal through this.  If it hadn't been for my husband's speech disorder, I don't know who he would be. It made him into an incredible listener and someone who thinks carefully about his words before he speaks. And he fell in love with me partly because I let him finish his sentences when others didn't.

My dad is almost completely deaf.  I can see on his life how what seemed like a disability has turned into a testimony.  Liam has a congenital heart defect. I'm learning more about it every day. He may need surgery soon or someday far in the future.  I know that God has a plan through it either way. What looks like a life threatening condition, will be his story and song.

God uses all of it for His glory.  It is all part of His plan.  Not a single pain, disease or diagnosis is wasted in His kingdom.


he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

How I'm really Doing

People keep asking how the adoption is going.  Some days I want to make sure they want the answer I have in my mind.  Because honestly, some days aren't rainbows and sunshine.  Like last week when we found out that everything was ready to go to China except that on one letter, the notary forgot to put the date. So we had it done again.  That time, the person who completed the letter didn't sign it and the dates didn't match.  So it had to be done a third time.  It was out of our hands. We have never even seen this letter and these people are doing this to help us.  It was an accident.  But all of these little hold ups mean that our dossier won't be ready to be sent to China until at least January 9th when the Chinese government reopens.

So how am I doing? 

I'm aching to hold my son.  

I'm frustrated by an adoption system out of my control.

I'm concerned by the $15K we still need and the time that is running out.

I'm thankful to a God who is in control and a husband who holds me through it.

This week was the first time I let myself cry missing Liam.  I've tried to have a great attitude but some days I just miss his smile and I want to hold him again.

So if you ask me how the adoption is going, just be prepared that I'm going to be honest. 

I want others to adopt and I want to be transparent about the process.  But filling your heads with ideas that you just fill out a couple of forms and hop on a plane wouldn't be fair to anyone.  Adoption is work.  It is waiting longer than you want.  It is doing everything you can and then fixing it anyway. 

That is what God did for us. I'm sure that ride on a donkey for Mary or the walk to Calvary to redeem us was physically and emotionally horrific.  But God would do anything to reach us.  He sent his Word across the heavens to the lowliest places to adopt us as His children.

I pray that this is the last Christmas we spend without Liam.  I pray his heart is strong and he feels the love we have for him from across the Pacific.

We are coming sweet boy...I promise.  Merry Christmas.

Easy to Say No

Most of the posts here are written by Sarah but this one is from Jeff's heart. 

How many of us have most of our days planned? How many of us get up in the morning on any random day and know pretty much how that day will go? Sure there’s always the unexpected person who cuts us off in traffic or maybe we vary up the Starbucks order occasionally, but for the most part our days are pretty predictable.

And for the most part, we like it that way. We like to go on autopilot. We like to minimize thinking about new stuff. We like to deviate from the norm only when it suits us. Predictability is safe. Predictability is easy.

But predictability is not what we are called to do.

By all these things, I have shown you that by working in this way we must help the weak, and remember the words of the Lord Jesus that he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35 (NET)

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. Galatians 5:13 (NLT)

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’...” Matthew 25:40 (NLT)

These are just a few things the Bible says about serving. In fact, serving is the reason Jesus came.

Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

There are aspects of our adoption journey that are very exciting. It’s exciting to hear that you've been matched to a child (especially the child you hoped for). It’s exciting to get updates and pictures of him. It’s exciting to hear that you've been approved to adopt this child by a foreign government.

For people with entrepreneurial spirits like my wife and I have, it’s even exciting to plan fundraisers, design t-shirts, create websites, and all of the other things that go along with setting up what equates to a small business.

But like most things, there is another side…adoption is hard.

While a lot of adoption is exciting and fun, it’s also a lot of work. Just today we were talking about all of the work that we still have ahead of us. It seems like we've already accomplished so much. And then we get an email outlining the next stages and it feels like we've hardly begun. It can be disheartening. It’s overwhelming. It’s work.

Moreover, we chose this. We aren't getting paid to adopt. We aren't doing this for ourselves. It would have been much easier to say, “No.” And we would have had every justification to do so. No one would have blamed us or even known that we had ever entertained the idea.

“It would take away time from our kids.”
“Our jobs are too busy.”
“It’s too expensive.”
“It’s just not for us.”

All of those are justifiable reasons to not have agreed to adopt. For many, those are very good reasons. We are all called to help widows and orphans. Certainly adoption is a very “right” thing to do. But even adoption isn’t for everyone. The reasons I mentioned and many more are good reasons for many to not adopt. There are many ways to help orphans outside of adoption.

But for my wife and me, we examined our life and recognized that these were just challenges. None of these excuses really held up as showstoppers. So we decided to accept the challenge. We decided to go outside of our predictable life. We decided to go through the work, to spend the money, to pray and hope, to trust that if God called us to do something, His plan is better than ours.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galations 6:9 (NLT)

Maybe adoption isn't what you are personally called to do. That’s OK. But we are all called to do something. Have you taken time to think about what that something is? For you, it may be something simple. Maybe your thing is to pay for the next person’s coffee or to serve at a soup kitchen a few times a year. Maybe it’s to get involved in your community or cutting grass for elderly or disabled people.

Or you may be called to do something that seems so much larger than yourself. Don’t neglect to seek out what your thing is out of fear that it may be something big. Don’t let fear keep you from whatever that thing is, big or small. Don’t let the challenges become excuses.

It may be immensely easier to say, “No,” but accept the challenge and say, “Yes.”