Sunday, December 21, 2014

How I'm really Doing

People keep asking how the adoption is going.  Some days I want to make sure they want the answer I have in my mind.  Because honestly, some days aren't rainbows and sunshine.  Like last week when we found out that everything was ready to go to China except that on one letter, the notary forgot to put the date. So we had it done again.  That time, the person who completed the letter didn't sign it and the dates didn't match.  So it had to be done a third time.  It was out of our hands. We have never even seen this letter and these people are doing this to help us.  It was an accident.  But all of these little hold ups mean that our dossier won't be ready to be sent to China until at least January 9th when the Chinese government reopens.

So how am I doing? 

I'm aching to hold my son.  
I'm frustrated by an adoption system out of my control.
I'm concerned by the $15K we still need and the time that is running out.
I'm thankful to a God who is in control and a husband who holds me through it.

This week was the first time I let myself cry missing Liam.  I've tried to have a great attitude but some days I just miss his smile and I want to hold him again.

So if you ask me how the adoption is going, just be prepared that I'm going to be honest. 
I want others to adopt and I want to be transparent about the process.  But filling your heads with ideas that you just fill out a couple of forms and hop on a plane wouldn't be fair to anyone.  Adoption is work.  It is waiting longer than you want.  It is doing everything you can and then fixing it anyway. 

That is what God did for us. I'm sure that ride on a donkey for Mary or the walk to Calvary to redeem us was physically and emotionally horrific.  But God would do anything to reach us.  He sent his Word across the heavens to the lowliest places to adopt us as His children.

I pray that this is the last Christmas we spend without Liam.  I pray his heart is strong and he feels the love we have for him from across the Pacific.

We are coming sweet boy...I promise.  Merry Christmas.

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