Part of why it has hurt is that I've messed up where my joy should come from. Psalm 30:5 says, "Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning." I have let my prayer request be my hope of having joy and not the Lord. God speaks to me most clearly through music and this song helped me see this.
Even in the why,
in the middle of the night I say
You are good
Though my prayers are heard,
the response is Yours God
You are good
Sorrow may last the whole night,
joy comes in the morning light
You are faithful
God You are faithful,
You have never left my side
I was waiting for the phone call of good news like it was my morning light. But then comes the bridge:
You are the sunrise
You are the sunrise,
there is no mistaking Your light
He is my sunrise. There is no mistaking His light because even if I had gotten everything we had prayed for this year, it wouldn't last forever like He will. The earthly, temporal good news I had been praying for is not the eternally faithful good news.
So what do we do? We keep going. We fix our eyes and worship even in the why. We trust that He's holding us through this and He still has a plan.
He is faithful and good.
Thank you Rita Springer for your beautiful song (Gateway Worship)